Xander Nefario
by Welt Beherrschunger
Summary: Xander Dresses as a mad scientist in his uncle's clothes and gets Nefario's mind stuck in his. He uses his super science for good and evil as he finds his own place in the super community. Then an evil good cannot defeat reveals himself and Xander and the Gru's must stop it before this new evil destroys everything.
1. Prologue

**AN: This is one of two branches for an idea for a BtVS/Despicable Me crossover. This one will include the ****Incredibles**** and ****Megamind**** movieverses. The other shall be written by my partner-in-crime and brother the Onyxwraith.(Should he ever write it).**

**Disclaimer: I own not that of Buffy the Vampire slayer(for if I did I would make Xander awesome somehow(however it really is his normality that makes his awesomeness, cuious)) nor do I own Despicable Me, Though I wish it was real **

**Welt Beherrschunger **

**Proudly Presents:**

**Alexander Nefario**

**Prologue**

Harris Family Reunion, Large Hotel of Reader's choice

"Boy, stay away from that guy, he's weird don't even know what who invited him, better yet just keep to yourself, you understand me boy?" Tony told his 12-year-old son.

"Yes, sir." Xander replied before he moved to sit on a couch in the corner of the room away from both the bar where his father was heading and the corner the 'weird' guy was. Sitting on the couch looking bored as he scanned the room. In one corner there was the bar and where most everyone was well except for the old guy in the corner and the smokers outside. It seemed that his father's drinking was a family tradition. In the other corner was the 'weird guy' who he could see how he was considered weird. He was a bit short and fat with a seriously crooked nose and huge ears. He was dressed in a yellow shirt and a buttoned white lab coat. Xander could only guess if the guy wore pants, he cringed slightly at the thought of the old guy going commando. He also for some unknown reason wore goggles and gloves with a yellow and black diamond symbol on them. Xander continued to scan the room only to have someone flop onto the couch beside him. He turned to see who got to his couch without him seeing.

He turned to see a girl his age sitting by him. Her hair was dark brown and she wore thin framed glasses. She was in a black t-shirt and a brown jacket, she also wore a plaid skirt and tennis shoes. All in all, Xander would say she was quite cute, not that he'd say that out loud but it was true. She seemed to be scanning the room like he was earlier before she felt his eyes on her and turned to face him.

"Hi, I didn't see you there, what's your name?" the girl asked.

"Xander, what's yours, my dad said nobody else in our family had kids." He asked back confused on who she was.

"Margo, and I'm here with Dr. Nefario, he's my dad's best friend kind of. The doctor said he needed to come with this and I wanted to get out of the house for once." She replied with a sigh. Xander knew why this Doctor Nefario had to come, it was the only reason that his father had come anyway. Tony's Grandmother had died and in her Will she said she wanted everyone to have a reunion and be a family for one once. Of course, threatening no inheritance was a great way to insure attendance in some of the family, like Tony. He hoped Dr. Nefario was a better type.

"Home not fun?" Xander asked. He knew how it could feel.

"No, it's not that, Home's loads of fun but I've got two sisters and my dad's kinda crazy and well sometimes I just need a break, you know?" Margo replied.

"Oh, that's cool, I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have Willow and Jesse to keep me alive." Xander joked, "So, who's this Dr. Nefario?" emphasizing the name to make it sound sinister making Margo laugh.

"The grumpy one in the corner if you must know." Margo replied. Pointing towards the 'weird' guy Tony had warned Xander about earlier.

"Hah, that's the guy my dad called weird, what's he like?" Xander asked

"Weird one way to call him, he's grumpy and doesn't like people, he said the only reason he's coming is because of his sister. But he grows on people. Plus he's a scientist who does some really cool stuff. Wanna go talk to him? He might actually like you, you aren't smoking drinking or you seem pretty smart."

"Thanks, anybody dad calls weird can't be too bad. Let's go." The kids stand up and make their way across the room unnoticed by the adults at the bar. Dr. Nefario turns toward them and nods as they approach.

"Hey Doctor, are you having fun?" Margo said a bit loudly.

"Fun is not a word I would use to describe this situation. Who's this you've brought over here." Hes asked.

"I'm Xander, Margo's friend. I'm Tony's son." Xander said at a normal-to-lowish volume to avoid getting his father to hear him and come over, however unlikely that was.

"Manner's a weird name to have boy, and I didn't think I had a nephew named Rony either odd, oh well not that I like any of them." Nefario responded obviously he couldn't hear well, hence Margo was speaking louder than normal. She turned to him, with a laughing smile.

"He's hard of hearing so you're gonna have to talk louder." She said quietly

"I gathered." Xander responded just as quietly.

"His name is Xander and his dad is Tony," Margo told Nefario.

"Oh, oh well hello Xander, and I remember Tony and I pity you." Nefario informed him.

"So, are you going to interact with your family at all, I thought that's what people do at family reunions." Margo asked.

"This is what Harris reunions look like, a bunch of people drinking together and getting drunk. Then we all go home in the morning and the intelligent ones try and repress the revulsion at all the drunkard."

"Well, it seems my sister had one good spawn. I'm surprised that Harris my sister married was such an idiot I'm surprised he lived so long." Nefario said looking at Xander with an appraising gaze through his goggles, "So did you get any of my sister's brains or did they all get washed away in that Harris filth?"

"Doctor! That's his family you're talking about! Be nice!" Margo said sternly to the older man clearly not okay with him insulting the Harris' so openly in front of Xander.

"It's okay, Margo, he's right, but yeah I'm kinda smart, I'm in the hardest classes my school offers and can pass without much effort. Plus I know when to run."

"That's good, Xander, plus I doubt Margo would talk to you if you weren't worth the time, of course." Nefario told Xander. "I'll send you a gift or two and see if you've got what it takes to do some real science, that sound nice?" Margo was looking at Nefario in awe. It had taken weeks to get Nefario to agree to teach them anything about his work. So far the only Margo out of her sisters had gotten through all the safety training Dr. Nefario forced them through. He was just going to give Xander this stuff off the bat, Margo glowered mentally at Xander.

Just then Tony decided to act fatherly for once, and he looked back to see his son doing just what he had told him not to do. He stomped over and grabbed Xander and despite Margo's sounds of protest carried the twelve-year-old out the door.

"Boy! Who do you think you were talking too! I told you to keep to yourself and directly told you not to go to that guy! What do you have to say?" Tony shouted angrily, liquor on his breathe.

"I'm …Sorry, I don't .. know what I was thinking! I'm sorry, dad sorry!" Xander said quickly and quietly.

"Sorry! Boy! Sorry, I'll make you sorry. You're going to the room and staying you'll not eat tonight understood." Tony asked sternly allowing no choice in answer besides yes.

"Yes Sir, I'll go now." The boy hung his head. Tony had never beaten him, maybe called him an idiot or insulted his friends but he was right scary when he wanted to be and especially when he had been drinking. He headed up to the hotel room he and his father were staying where he stayed for the rest of the trip with them leaving for Sunnydale in the morning. He never saw Dr. Nefario or Margo the rest of the trip and knew he likely never would again.

**AN: Just Shy 200 shy of 1500 so I think this is a decent prologue. This is a YAHF story and we'll be getting to that later. Please review, I love more ideas. I might incorporate ideas I might not but either way review please.**


	2. Chapter 1

**AN: This will cover the YAHF aspect of the story. Sorry for how long it took to get back to you. By the way Jesse is gonna play a part in this Fanfiction. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I do not Own Buffy the Vampire Slayer nor do I own Despicable Me, though I wish I had some minions of both Gru's overlord's and some Shadowkhan, but alas I do not and that's all.**

**Future plans: I intend to successfully cross Megamind, Incredibles, Sky High, and maybe a few others I'll think of later to add to a lesser extent.**

Chapter 1

**4 years later**

**Harris Household- Halloween**

Xander was in his room wondering what on earth he was supposed to do for a costume. His soldier idea failed because the army clothes he thought he had had been lost so he was currently rummaging through his house for something. He was digging in the attic to find something, then finally after several minutes searching, underneath a pile of old moth eaten clothes he found something.

He found a cardboard box that he had no idea where it came from. It had never been opened and had Xander's name on it from a Nefario, He tried to think of someone with that name but came up with nothing but a sense of odd familiarity near the edge of his mind. He opened it up to find a number of textbooks with names such as Mad Science: For Beginners or A Guide to Minions. Also included was a set of gloves, a lab coat, and some goggles. He also saw two letters which he decided to read later because he needed to find his clothes for his soldier costume. Then it hit him, he wouldn't go as a soldier he would go as a mad scientist. He would just find a sci-fi kinda weapon when he went to the new costume place with Willow and Buffy. He pulled the clothes out and set them on his bed and went out the door the meet Buffy and Willow at the costume store.

**Ethan's Costumes**

Xander met Buffy and Willow outside the store, "Hey what's up any ideas for your costumes, or are you gonna go with the tradition bedsheet spectre?"

Willow blushed at the reference to her perpetual Halloween guise. "Maybe, We'll have to decide when we see what they have first."

Buffy oblivious to her two friends mini conversation said, "Well, I just looking for something to see if I can get Angel's attention, hopefully they've got something."

Xander simply sighed knowing there was no point in questioning the blonde slayer's obsession with the king of brood himself. He just shook his head and walked in the store. "Come on, Let us search!" He cried before he walked through the door earning an odd look from Buffy and Willow.

They separated to search for their own costumes and Xander found himself drawn a shelf lined with various fake weapons from swords to water guns to fake rifles to a weird blue and black bulbous handgun that he immediately knew was the perfect thing to complete his costume. He reached for it without hesitation when he heard a voice behind him speak. "That is an interesting choice there."

Xander immediately spun almost dropping the gun but it flipped in the air and he somehow caught it perfectly and was pointing his fake gun right at a tall creepy guy with a borderline malicious smirk. "Equally interesting reaction, I presume you are not trying to rob me with my own prop gun?" The man sarcastically asked. Xander noticed he spoke with a British accent,

Realizing what he looked like he immediately lowered his weapon and relaxed, and said sheepishly, "Hehe, umm sorry, I tend to overreact. I noticed you're British, would you by any chance know a guy by the name of Giles; he's a good friend of mine."

The man glared at the young boy and drawled out, "Yes, because every brit attends a universal meeting to insure that we don't die in the sea of imbecilic colonists. But as a matter of fact, I do know Rupert and in fact if you don't tell him I'm here I give you a discount, I plan a surprising him at a later date with a nice old-fashioned prank between friends, he always needed to loosen up if he's still the same." The smirk mutated more into a wicked grin which Xander returned.

"Sorry for being rude, so what is this thing supposed to be anyhow? And I'll keep your secret safe so long as I get to see the prank in action."

"You will see it, don't worry. And as for that gun, it is in fact a replica of the signature weapon of a famous villain family known only as Gru, it is supposed to be a freeze ray." Watching Xander's eyes grow the man knew he had a sell.

"Wow, cool, how much is it? Crap, it sounds expensive." He moped disheartened at his realization.

"Now my boy, remember my discount, and since you seem so interested and are a good friend of dear Rupert I am willing to part with that piece for a total of five dollars. Is that satisfactory?"

Xander nodded quickly this was just what he needed for his costume, it may cost all he had but it was worth it. "Deal, so what's your prank on Giles anyhow?" as they both walked over to the register.

"That is a secret, you will simply have to watch to find out, but it will be big. Now that is all we need I hope you have a very interesting Halloween." The shop owner then shooed him away where he went to find the girls.

He found the girls looking through various dresses in the old british noblewoman style. "So find what you were looking for ladies?"

"Now, I just can't decide which dress is best." Buffy said slightly exasperated, Willow was looking tired but glad that Buffy had relented about her costume till she found hers.

"Well you could just wear one of those," Xander joked pointing to the various spandex suits in the female superhero costumes. Willow blushed while Buffy glared.

"So, are you still soldier boy. Xander?" Willow asked to save her Xander shaped friend.

"Nope, and I'm not telling what, it's a surprise." Xander said grinning goofily.

This time Buffy butted in playfully, "Well if you won't tell us, I guess you don't get to see what our costumes are gonna be, Shoo shoo, costume secret keeper person."

Xander laughed, "Well okay, I gotta get ready anyway, so bye I guess, See you at your house Buffy." With that he walked out of the shop laughing and wondering what the costumes were gonna be, he hoped that Willow wouldn't be a ghost again, hopefully Buffy could get her out of her shell.

**Casa Summers**

Xander was standing outside the Summers door dressed in his lab coat with a white button down shirt and dress pant complete with some brown loafers. His freeze ray was tucked inside a convenient pocket in his coat that seemed to fit perfectly and his pockets were filled with a variety of doodad and whatsits.

Xander knocked on the door for Buffy to open it and he gazed upon her in all her bulking old-styled, noblewoman glory. "Ah this is Doctor Xander Nefario, seeking audience with the great Buffy, Lady of Buffdom, Duchess of Buffonia, this humble Mad scientist offers his assistance in any way m'lady." He made a quick mocking bow.

"Why thankyou good Doctor but alas you have yet to see…"

They both look up to see Willow coming down the stairs in a Simple white bed sheet. "Hi…

"…Casper."

"What a fine specimen of an ectoplasmic entity we have here.", Willow seemed slightly more comfortable with Xander's praise as she joined her friends.

"Okay, so where did you get the duds, Xan?" Buffy asked. She was looking him up and down appraisingly.

"Oh just some old stuff that one of my crazy uncles apparently gave me a while back. But hey it works plus there's this." Xander whipped out his freeze ray dramatically. Buffy's and presumably Willow's(she was under the sheet) eyebrows popped at the sight of Xander's new toy.

"Um.. What's that Xander?" Willow asked.

"Well.."Xander grinned goofily," According to the Ethan guy from the costume store, this happens to be a one of a kind replica of real freeze ray from some famous family of villains." He moved the gun so the girls could inspect it better.

"Wow, that's cool Xander," "Yeah Awesome,"

"So ladies, since I believe we are late, how about we go get our little test subjects..I mean kiddies."

**NEFARIO NEFARIO NEFARIO NEFARIO NEFARIO**

Nefario stumbled, he felt different, familiar but different. In fact, the last time he felt like this was 60 years ago. The last thing he remembered was going to bed after helping Margo work through a stop up on her project. She really was coming along in the family business. But first Nefario needed to figure out where he was. He heard a shout and turned towards the noise. He saw a red head girl in a rather form-fitting blue and black spandex suit running up to him and starting to talk.

"Xander! Oh you're not really a mad scientist! Somehow everyone got turned into their costumes, Oh please tell me you know who you are?!" Willow rattled off, and if Nefario hadn't learned to listen to Anges speedtalking he never would have understood.

"Young lady, are you telling me that I am possessing the body of a friend of yours?"

"Yes, and by the way, I'm older than you, so no young lady." Willow retorted, "You're handling this quite well, why?"

"Simply in that this is not the first possession I have ever been involved in, however, usually at least one of us is willing. Now will you please tell me whose body this is and where we are, and, oh of course who are you? This body is telling me you're familiar but I haven't a name?"

"Um, okay, I'm Willow and you're in my friend Xander's body, and we are in Sunnydale California." Willow still surprised with how this guy was taking everything, then again he was supposed to be a mad scientist.

"Interesting…, well I am Dr. Isaac Nefario, Former Super-Villain, and now chief cohort of the Great Felonious Gru. Now what do you suppose we do?"

"Well first, we should get Buffy and head to her house for shelter, then we can try to figure this out."

"An adequate plan, although I would love some time to study some of these creatures! These little devils would be wonders to clone especially if they are trainable." Nefario said absently, punting a pintsized monster as it rushed him and deftly removing a snatch of its hair.

"Um Xander or Nefario or whoever you are, there's really no time for that, we need to go."

"AHHHHHHH!" the two teens turned to the sound and Willow's eyes widened.

"That's Buffy, come on!" and off she went running through cars as she crossed the street and around the corner. Nefario followed with the Freeze ray in his hand. Moments later, they found the slayer-turned-noble huddled by a tree in an area almost free of monsters, yet the young teen still wimpered.

"Begone Demon! My father will surely have you banished!" The girl said weakly, before muttering a pitiful phrase of two in incomprehensible French. The ghost and the scientist idled for a moment wondering if the young woman was touched in the head before remembering that she had been dressed as a noblewoman and was now possessed by one. Nefario was the first to act.

"M' Lady,…. M' Lady please calm down." He kneeled beside her and placed a hand on her shoulder. She seemed to calm. "M' Lady, may I ask a question?"

The girl seemed to show more signs of composure as she straightened and addressed Nefario. "Yes Goodsir, what would you query in such a dreadful moment?"

"Only your name, for I have been entreated by the local lord to find a young lady of the name of Elizabeth or possible the diminutive, Buffy."

Clearly surprised by this inquiry, she responded by asking, "And Goodsir, what are you supposed to do with this young lady should you find her, and might I ask what qualifies you to be saving damsels?"

"I am a wise man of sorts, like that of our Queen's Mister Dee, and I am to take the lady to safety and use my unique skills to solve this dreadful period." Nefario replied bowing his head lightly.

Taking in the strangely dressed man, who she for some unknown reason felt the need to trust, she said, "I am she, and you may call me Lady Summer's for now,"

"Ah, Brilliant, in that case I am Master Nefario, and this is my good friend Willow, ignore her unseemly dress, it is merely to distract any unsavory folk who might come near while I deal with them. Come now we need to head off quickly before any one approaches." Nefario suggested smiling wryly, for he had noticed the look of consternation and embarrassment from young Willow at his comments on her dress.

"Yes, Yes, off we go, I expect you to return me in a very timely order."

"Why of course ma'am." As Nefario allowed Willow to lead the way towards the Summer home. Considering it was only a few blocks over this was no large task.

Once they returned to the Summer home they barricaded himself in, using Nefario's freeze ray to block off the doors. However, as Nefario was sealing the last door, It became apparent that there was another young lady a short distance away being chased by something resembling a pet of Agnes'. He froze the beast and called the young lady into safety. "Xander, what are you doing and how are you able to do that?" the girl who was identified when Willow shouted her Name and began babbling, "Oh, Cordelia, itsokayyouarentreallyacatitsjustsomenastymagicspel lcastonthetown…"

"What are you talking about! All I know is that I was being attacked by some freak in a dog costume and now my costume is ripped, argh I'll never get my deposit back now!"

"Wait you don't think you're a cat? Then why is everyone else turning into their costumes?"

"I'm entirely sure, but the answer may lie in the costumes themselves." Nefario hypothesized.

"What do you mean?"

"Cordelia, judging by your comment about the costumes having a deposit I assume you went to some major costume retail, whereas I recall an Ethan's either in Xander's memory or in a reference from Willow. Is that correct?"

"Yeah, we all got our costumes there, actually a lot of people did…" Willow started.

"Perhaps you could tell me the location of the store that I might find this Ethan man." Nefario asked.

"But what about us, won't we be trapped here?" Cordelia asked, "What If something comes for us?"

"Simple, I can just shore up the doors and windows with my freeze ray and nothing will escape until morning, Now Willow could you please watch Buffy I believe she is cowing in the living room" Nefario explained

"Oh and the store is on Old Harrison Street. About two blocks from the school."

"Thank you now I'll be off." As Nefario exited the door to handle the crisis, despite the fact he preferred to cause crisises.

The next several minutes involved much freezing of random menaces that dared to approach him. The strange thing was how many actual vampires he crossed with, not the costume type, so he froze them as he came across them, including a large brunette one that looked quite broody, and a peroxide blonde one leading a pack of lesser vampires. It was a good thing he learned that trick to seeing if someone was a vampire just by looking at them(pity normal people can't do the same) studying under that Romanian mad scientist was so useful.

Nefario left the vampires to toast in the sun because that's when the ice would finally melt(and they said using holy water as a basis for the frost energy would affect its use in acts of evil.) and quickly found the shop that he was looking for, "Ethan's"

"Now to see what this guy is up too." As Nefario entered the shop, he followed the muttering noise to find Ethan at an altar of Janus. Shrugging to himself Nefario froze Ethan from shoulder down before turning him to face Nefario. "So how do I break this spell?"

"Who are you?" Ethan asked on the account he knew every character in his shop and this wasn't one of them.

"Nefario, Dr. Nefario, now how do I break the spell?"

"Simple you don't! and the chaos will spread too!" Ethan laughed

"You aren't in a laughing position before removing a rubber chicken from his pocket and showing it to Ethan, "Now what is this?"

"A rubber chicken?" Ethan said hesitantly. Nefario hit him across the face with it and the impact felt like he'd been hit by Muhammad Ali with mercury filled gloves.

"Wrong, It's a rubber chicken filled with lead ball barings. Now answer the question"

"No, This is too fun," "Smack!" Ethan was quite dizzy now, and more than slightly delirious. "Mummy, what did I do, was I not supposed to steal her knickers like daddy said."

Nefario stared at Ethan oddly after that comment and wondered briefly if that was what was so wrong with this person. Before flicking him in the nose to get his attention. It worked as Ethan startled back to coherence. "Now till me how to break the spell."

"No!" In a remarkably impetulant and childlike manner. "Smack!" and he was out again.

This carried on for about an hour before Nefario accidently knocked Ethan over into the altar and breaking the effigy of Janus. Thus ending the spell.

Xander stumbled drunkedly for a bit before finally looking at his surroundings and remembering the occurrences prior. He shrugged and walked out towards home and leaving Ethan to crawl away and hopefully for some advil. Or Morphine, yes lots of morphine.

**AN:That's the end. Of the chapter. So I hope you like it cause, I do, next chapter will be a bit skippy just skimming over changes and then meeting the family. Hope you enjoy and please Review and please not a two or three word review give me honest review.**


	3. Chapter 2

**AN: This is a time-skip chapter because I'm rather lazy and there aren't too many differences from Cannon and my new Fannon(fate is elastic and all that). It's mostly me being lazy though. And other methods to write this failed terribly. So here you go and hope you enjoy this and review it.**

**Disclaimer by Onyxwraith: my brother owns nothing except his beard and ill shave that off soon enough**

**Welt Beherrschunger: Capitalization; that is what separates us as men from beasts. And you shall not tough my beard!**

_**Xander Nefario**_

"**Chapter 2"**

The night of Halloween was a major changing point for Xander. He never told anyone that there were imprints left behind. In fact, besides a slight increase in his math and science skills no one would ever think that he was likely the most scientifically smartest person in the room.

While in truth, he likely was. In truth, he had been learning the arts of mad science since November 1st. However, he was unable to test any of his works because he decided to follow the basic safety regulations of mad science: don't test without another mad scientist, that is trusted, present. So no awesome toys for Xander yet. But he had plans, oh yes he had some awesome plans.

It turns out that master vampires are capable of freeing themselves from ice meaning that Spike and Angel actually survived. Of course, that ended up badly with Spike releasing the Judge.

The Judge was bad business all around and Xander was forced to reveal his studies to the gang. So that led into him bringing out the Destruct-o-Tron ray. Highly experimental and equally effective, if it didn't fall to pieces after the first shot. The Judge got disintegrated but Angelus got away. Oh on a side note, Angel and Buffy did the Horizontal Mumba and out popped Angelus. No, Angelus is not Buffy's kid but rather Angel turned evil and slightly more annoying. Seriously, it was a figure of speech.

Well Giles decided that Mad Science was a bad idea seeing how destructive Xander could be and how unreliable it seems on the supernatural. Needless to say, Xander agreed. Well, publically he agreed; privately, he began designing even more weapons to fight the supernatural. The gang never brought the subject up again.

Then Acathla came around and the gang almost got screwed over by everybody. Buffy was an idiot for not taking out Angel. Ms. Calender got shot out of the group and then killed. Then Willow found the ritual and against Xander's better judgment decided that she could cast the ritual and Giles in his grief(it's the only logical explanation for the obvious lapse in judgment) allowed her to attempt it.

Needless to say this led to some pretty bad things happening. First Kendra died, then Willow was in a coma for a few hours, and Xander and Cordelia almost died, despite escaping mostly injury free. Oh, and Giles got kidnapped and Buffy chased him down leaving everyone to get to the hospital on their own. Then when Willow woke up she decided to try again and Oz her faithful werewolf boyfriend who arrived on Cordelia's call just followed suit. Xander was sent to track Buffy down and tell her about the attempt. Xander tracked her down and lied to her. In hindsight, that was an jerk move, however it was the only way to get her to go all out and stop Angel.

Getting Giles out was simple really but then Buffy ran away leaving everyone wondering. The gang patrolled in her lapse and Giles worked to find her.

The next year, Buffy returned as a full force queen bee intent on sidelining Xander. The lie might have led to that but in Xander's eyes it was uncalled for.

Then came Faith, the third slayer of Sunnydale. Now that was something that turned out nicely. Or not, Faith got sidelined just as badly as Xander, which probably led to the fling and ruined any possible cordial relationship with the dark-haired slayer. Eventually, Faith accidentally offed the Mayor's assistant and got kick out, and as it turns out turned to the dark side.

But with the Mayor things just got crappier. Faith against them till Buffy put her in a coma to save Angel, then the Ascension all culminating in Xander blowing the school up to off the giant snake demon.

That incident finally over, Xander could go on his road trip. He'd been planning to go since he read the letters from his Uncle and Margo the previous year. Heck, he'd even gone done into empty Vampire dens and ransacked them for stuff to pawn and money so he had a nice little nest egg. Of course he had no excuse for why he never responded but something in the echo Nefario left told him in person might help him out. He also had this strange feeling that Margo and her sisters weren't going to be the best welcoming party either. Oh well, all Xander could do was hope for the best and that's what he did.

So he went off into the world, leaving behind his friends and family to meet some, hopefully, better family. It wasn't until he's gotten to Tarminto City, Kansas did Xander realize that he had no idea where they actually lived. In fact it was only the information that Nefario had that let him find the city, that and a road map. Nefario had long forgotten the actual address of the house.

That left Xander in an interesting predicament. So he decided to rent a room at a hotel and scout out the Bank of Evil from the café across the street. Not the best plan but the café had really good coffee and donuts so Xander liked it.

Two days passed and Xander was really bored and hyped up on caffeine and sugar. In fact he was fidgeting quite a bit from it. Actually he truly resembled the squirrel from the movie Hoodwinked at the moment. It was eerie to watch. And then salvation found Xander.

A man entered the café whistling a jaunty tune and dancing slightly to it also. He wore black slacks and a equally black jacket that looked quite expensive while striking quite a sinister figure. Of course the Jacket was far from the man's most notable feature. In fact the most notable feature was perhaps the single most pronounced nose that Xander had ever seen. In his over-caffeinated mind he wondered if anyone had ever tried to write an ode about that man's remarkable familiar nose. Then it struck him. That was Gru! Now to follow him.

Waiting for Gru's morning ritual to end, Xander admired the finesse of his freeze-raying. Once Gru was finished he left the building none the wiser of being observed. Driving off in his rather unique vehicle Xander walked out of the café and simply followed the trail of destruction left by Gru in his own vehicle that miraculously was not destroyed by the villain's ride.

The trail was easy to follow and within fifteen minutes he was parked in the neighborhood of the Gru household. Fearlessly, he walked up to the door and knocked.

A shutter in the door opened and a beady eye peered through. A heavily accented voice asked, "What do you vant?"

Honesty is the best policy after all, "Umm… My name is Xander and I was hoping to meet my Uncle, Nefario?"

**AN: Ah, cliffhangers, keeps you interested doesn't it. I had a lot of trouble writing this one and I hope you like it. Please read and review and I'll try to get more out sooner.**

**More high quality reviews = faster updates and over all better story. Bye now.**


	4. Chapter 3

**AN: First let me thank nightmaster000 for his reviews. He had some pretty decent questions that made me feel all warm and fuzzy in the inside.**

** So this Chapter is out a lot fast than the previous one, but I've been writing a lot recently and actually have new story that I've already written several chapters for that I really like. Harry Potter/Evil Dead with some AU for plot lubricant is shaping up nicely. I don't have any awesome overarching plots like this one though so it might actually be easier to write. **

**Also, as nightmaster000 noted, the letters that were mentioned near the end of the chapter 2, are from originally mentioned as being in the box of stuff in the very beginning of chapter 1. The contents of the letters will play a lot into the next few chapters.**

**Disclaimer by Onyxwraith, he how insures that I write regularly**

_Xander Nefario_

"Chapter 3"

_ A shutter in the door opened and a beady eye peered through. A heavily accented voice asked, "What do you vant?"_

_ Honesty is the best policy after all, "Umm… My name is Xander and I was hoping to meet my Uncle, Nefario?"_

The reaction was not what he suspected, "Ehh! That's unexpected. Well, okay, I'll let you in on one condition."

"Yessir, what is that condition?" Xander asked respectfully, no point in being disrespectful to the former number 1 supervillain of the world.

"You are to follow orders to the letter, not interact with anyone or anything without prior instruction from me, and should you stay for dinner, you pay for the pizza." Gru stated clearly. Xander could mentally see the full body motions involved in that statement.

"Ummm… that's three, but I guess, I hope you don't mind cheap pizza because I don't have much money." Xander offered. His memories from Nefario while useless for specifics, was turning out great for dealing with Gru.

"Oh! Good, well come in." Gru opened the door to let Xander inside. Once in he quickly shut the door. Looking around Xander saw the room consisted of a hall and the living room with a door leading to the rest of the house. The hall had two knight suits on either side; one armed with a mace the other a sword. A massive stuffed bear head hung over the threshold of the living room. The living room consisted of two areas. The first was a the main living room with a couch that appeared to be made out of some sort of large exotic lizard. On the other wall was a massive flat-screen TV and entertainment system. Completing the area was Iron maiden that was pushed against the wall near the door. The other side of the room was darker with more shelves that formed a sort of den area. The most unusual thing in the room was the rhino that apparently had been made into a seat. Finished looking at the room, Xander allowed himself to be pushed through towards the lizard couch, "Sit! Sit, I will go retrieve Dr. Nefario. Don't talk to anyone, or touch anything." Gru said sitting him on the couch and looking at Xander complete with an 'I'm watching you' hand gesture as he backed through one of the doors. Naturally, Xander obeyed until exactly twelve point seven seconds had passed before Gru walked out the room. Looking around the room for something to entertain himself, he spied a doily on the stand beside the couch. Remembering a quote he heard from somewhere, he felt compelled to wear it on his head, and let it never be said that Xander did not follow his impulses. So he put the doily on his head and contently sat back humming to himself.

Suddenly, the door opened and someone walked through. A young girl about twelve walked through the door, and spotted Xander. "Why are you wearing our doily, Mr. Stranger?" She asked. She was wearing a striped yellow shirt with the head of a unicorn on it with a black skirt. Her hair was pulled back loosely and Xander could tell that she would be quite pretty when she was older. In her mouth she had a lollipop that failed to impede her speech in any manner but made her seem all the more naïve and innocent.

"One cannot trust a man who is alone in a room and does not try on the doily." Xander answered in a sophisticated tone, "Shouldn't you not talk to strangers." He reminded her in a friendly tone.

The girl cocked her head, "I'm Agnes, what's you name?"

"Xander,"

"See, now we aren't strangers," she said smiling to herself, "And Mr. Xander, if you just wanted to wear a doily, I don't see why you need an excuse." And just as fast as she came the girl disappeared through the door.

Xander sat quietly for another few minutes with the doily on his head, happy at how he had handled the situation with Agnes. Then the door opened and Gru and Dr. Nefario entered. Nefario looked exactly as he had all those years ago at the family reunion. He'd only gained memory of the reunion again after that Halloween night. He'd had an accident, falling down the stairs two days after he and his father had returned left him without detailed knowledge of that reunion and apparently he'd received the package from his Uncle while he was unconscious, so his mother put it in the attic and forgot to tell him about it when she was sober enough to talk.

A series of unlikely, ill timed, and just plain unlucky circumstances prevented him from a better life and family all those years. Now he had a chance to fix it.

"This is the boy claiming to be your nephew, he seems a bit young, I think" Gru started, before seeing Xander's head, "What! Why are you wearing my doily! Off, Off, now!" Gru shouted, complete with over exaggerated hand motions and a swipe or two, before Gru caught the doily saying to Dr. Nefario, "All doubt of your relation is gone…" and left the two of them alone.

"So, you are Alexander, then?" Nefario asked, raising himself up to his full 4'10'' height in attempt to look sternly down at Xander. Xander had the awareness to look at least somewhat shamed.

"Xander, sir, and I had no clue about you until Halloween year before last. You possessed me that night, and that jogged my memory of you."

"I do recall that rather odd dream, though I thought nothing of it. Never had a possession that was unwilling on both sides so I put it down to nerves. What do you mean by jogged your memory?" Nefario asked.

"After the reunion six years ago, I fell down some stairs, and forgot pretty much the entire trip. Your package got put in the attic while I was out and I never got it. But after I the possession, I started to learn from the books that you sent and well, I have some pretty awesome ideas that I wanna try. I even built my own Doom ray that actually worked too on my first try." Xander said hoping to impress his Uncle.

"My my, less than two years study and already building Doom rays. That is something, plenty of talent. How did it work and what did you use to test it?" Nefario asked, honestly impressed, the boy had some talent.

Xander thought about spilling everything that happened in Sunnydale that time before choosing to edit it slightly. Since Nefario was familiar with supernatural most of it was safe to tell. So Xander gave the full accounting of the Judge, the only things he kept out were that Angelus was there and Buffy's role as the Slayer. Xander was confident that his story was impressing the older scientist till he got with the very end. Mostly the bit with the Doom ray almost blowing up and then failing to last more than one shot.

"Hmm… Interesting story there, you seem to have a good grounding in the Supernatural actually. Bit risky though using an experimental weapon to defeat something like that, why didn't you use one of the pre-built plans from the books I sent?"

"Wrong materials and I couldn't get access to weapons grade plutonium in Sunnydale very easily. So I substituted, I used a book from Giles library on magic to create a capacitor that takes in ambient magical energy for the power source." He'd never told anyone the secret of his weapon, or that he's dabbled into magic.

"Ah, that would explain your failure; you were on a Hellmouth and lacked a filter on your power input. Not many would use magic with technology though, very rare and very risky. I'm too old for it personally, too many variables. But well done on your work. So did you come for anything besides seeing your Uncle?" Nefario asked leaning back in his scooter.

"Actually yes, umm… well you see I was kind of lazy and unmotivated in school. So I never got accepted into college. And I was hoping too, that I could get an apprenticeship from you, you know continue the family business?" Xander asked nervously, his face was hopeful.

"One question, your view on villainy?" Nefario looked pensive waiting for Xander's answer.

After a moment Xander answered, "As long as nobody gets hurt and the world keeps spinning, I'm all for some good clean fun."

Nefario smiled, "I think you'll fit right in, we're mostly small time for now, but we plan on expanding big-time when Edith graduates. But with you, we could step up our plans and have our major heist before the year is out." Nefario was grinning now and turned around. "Now come on let's go find Gru and tell him the news."

"Lead on, MacDuff!" Xander stood and followed Nefario through the ominous door that everyone had been going through in the time Xander was here.

Shortly after this Xander was introduced to how slowly Dr. Nefario moves.

**AN: Points to anyone who can tell me the quote that I referenced earlier in the chapter. You will be recognized with the next chapter also. I hope everyone enjoyed this one as much as I did. A solid 1.5k chapter is my new goal for any story I write. Thank you for reading and please review.**


	5. Chapter 4

**AN :Woot! Another chapter of Xander Nefario out already! I'm feeling good with this and I really hope that my writing is improving each time, according to Onyx Wraith my dialogue has gotten a lot better and I think so too. But I border on Megalomania so I count for two votes. Review please**

**As always a Disclaimer by Onyx Wraith that lacks proper capitalization: My Brother owns nothing not even his beard.**

**Welt Beherrschunger: Damn, he actually capitalized. And let it be known that no one can own true sexiness. **

It is said that two things that every person can complain about are the weather and the traffic. Today we will discuss the traffic. There are many varieties of traffic: Fast, slow deadlocked, 5 O'clock rush, accident, and weather induced are but a few of these types. But the single most irritating type of traffic is that traffic you find yourself in when you are on a one lane road while the other side of the road is busy and you are behind that metaphorical 'one old lady who shouldn't be driving because she has received multiple tickets for driving too slow'. This is only the most generic of this brand of traffic because modifiers can be added to the metaphorical 'old lady' such as 'who apparently thinks it is raining' or even the feared and hated, 'who seems to think that every intersection has a stop sign and then conveniently forgets to turn on her turn signal.' That metaphorical old lady is also nothing compared to one, Dr. Nefario in foot traffic.

Sadly, that is exactly what Xander was experiencing right now. I was only years of training at maintaining his masculine dignity that prevented him from breaking out into tears. But eventually that phase of the trip ended when they approached a picture frame containing the family tapestry of the Grus. Xander could see that the tapestry had been altered in recent years been changed to add the bottom three members. A closer look would reveal the stain from an unofficial change from years prior. Nefario placed his hand against the wall beside the tapestry and pressed. A seamless button depressed and the other wall opened to reveal an elevator. They stepped and scooter-ed into the elevator respectively and began to drop into Gru's lair.

"So Nefario… I just realized, you don't seem to be having any problems hearing anymore, if you don't mind my asking?" Xander started.

"What! Did you say something boy? Are you commenting on my Hair problems!" Nefario started angrily. Xander looked stricken, he really needed to make a good impression. Then Nefario started laughing, it was a loud booming laugh that quickly divulged into a coughing hacking fit.

"Huh?" was about as much as Xander got out.

"Oh, it's just some good fun, Gru and the girls got me hearing aids for Christmas a year or two ago. And every now and then I like to joke with people about my hearing. Oh ho, and you fell for it." Nefario said.

Xander looked at Nefario and then laughed because it was pretty funny. He could definitely see the family connection between them. "That was pretty good." Xander said before he got a predatory look in his eye, "But you know now I'll have to get you back, right?"

Nefario looked at Xander weighing him up, "You can try, but I doubt you'll get me. The girls never could." With that the elevator landed at the bottom and opened up. They were in the atrium of the lair and it was massive. Xander had no idea how Gru managed to get an area the size of half a football field but he'd managed it. He could see the Times Square Jumbotron that Xander didn't even know was missing. It hung over a large stage with a catwalk. The ceiling was a conical iris that Xander knew opened to a very nice view of the moon on a full moon night. Then looking around he saw the tell-tale signature of Gru, the little yellow guys ranging from 2 to 3 and a half feet tall with one to three eyes and a near infinite number of uses.

"Minions." Xander breathed out. Nefario heard him started talking.

"Yes, those are our minions, I believe those three are Jim, Jared, and Carl. They are simply amazing and they are Gru's crowning achievement. They're made from a mishmash of DNA and grown in our greenhouse out back. They're just shy of indestructible and their DNA is modifiable so if one of us has any new ideas then we can just try them out." Nefario explained.

"Wouldn't that be painful for them though?" Xander asked, he was weary of harming anything that wasn't inherently evil or trying to kill him.

"Oh no, that's what we have the Minionmaker for. It's a massive computer that can accurately calculate the changes that will occur in a minion. All theoretical and ninety seven percent accurate." Nefario assured him. "The indestructibility makes most live testing safe also, but that's beside the point."

"Oh well, that's good, so where's Gru then?" Xander asked. He wanted to bite the bullet and figure out if he could stay.

"I believe he said he was going to be in the weapons lab with Edith. Helping tweak her first true Doom ray for actual use." Nefario answered turning to go towards a hall to the left. Xander followed and they took a second left down the hall and were soon right outside of the Weapons lab. Nefario opened the door and entered followed by Xander.

The room consisted of two different sections. First, the actual lab was made up of two counters covered with various parts and material that would be used in a common Doom ray or other conventional weaponry and the back wall was taken up by shelves that were filled with various other tools and partial mechanisms. The other part of the lab looked to be a firing range with a myriad of target types separated from the rest of the lab by a barrier of some sort. Xander spotted a control panel that might be used to set the target moving or cycle through different types of targets. Xander found himself almost salivating when at the prospects of a lab with this much resources. Previously, he'd had to make do with what he found in the junkyard and in tombs of dead vampires, so he couldn't wait to get started.

"Gru! Gru! Where are you?" Nefario called out. Xander looked through the room to find the occupants to see the two of them with earmuffs in the firing range with what looked like a disintegration rifle from the look of the targets.

The first one he recognized instantly as Gru, the only difference being that he was wearing goggles and earmuffs on the range. The second, however, caught Xander by surprise. She looked to be about his age if a bit younger. She wore a pink toboggan that covered a shock of blond hair that had been dyed a light purple at the ends. She was wearing a black T-shirt for a band that Xander vaguely remembered, something involving Care bears. She wore a pair of faded blue jeans and sneakers. All in all, if Xander had seen this girl in the street, he likely would have kept looking for a bit. But the realization that she was the one with the disruptor rifle stymied that impulse. After a minute or so, there was nothing left of the targets but atomized dust particles, and the two shooters put their arms down and turned around. They're eyes opened when they saw Nefario waiting for them and quickly reentered the main area of the lab to greet him. "Hiya, gramps! What's up?" The girl asked. Xander assumed she was Edith.

"Hoho, I thought I told you to not call me gramps, little girl." He said smiling.

"And I'm not a little girl, I'm almost 18." She replied sticking her tongue out at him. Then she noticed Xander. "Who are you?" She asked defensively stepping back.

Before he could respond Nefario spoke up, "This is my nephew, Xander, and Gru, he wants to be my apprentice and is quite talented…" then Edith interrupted

"But gramps, I thought you said all your relatives are no good Neanderthals and drunkards. And you hoped to never see another one of them again. And…"

"I MAY have exaggerated a bit and possibly forgotten about this one." Nefario re-interrupted pointing at Xander.

"Sounds about right actually," Xander remarked, catching them all by surprise. "I'm not huge on the idea of seeing my family ever again, so I don't blame you."

Gru looked closely at Xander, inspecting him with a shrewd eye. "I do not know if I should trust him, it seems rather convenient, if you ask me. What are you skilled at, your credentials?"

"Umm… well I was able to build a working Doom ray out of spare parts and a homemade arcane capacitor." Xander replied hopefully.

"Arcane capacitor?" Edith asked. Gru looked at him with surprise.

"It absorbed ambient magical energy to use for a directed energy beam." Xander explained. He assumed they knew about the supernatural because Nefario seemed to take it in stride.

"Wait, magic is real?" Edith asked.

"Yes, although it is incredibly dangerous to use with normal superscience." Nefario explained. Gru groaned.

"Why weren't we told?" Edith asked, looking at Gru angrily.

"Because the rule regarding the supernatural is that you don't tell anyone unless you have too. Same rule as with villainy, the more people that are in the know the worse things tend to get." Gru explained. "Also, there are very few areas where anyone has to worry about the supernatural at all."

"Lemme guess, Sunnydale is the first?" Xander asked.

"Yes, and Cleveland, Which is odd, it's usually so nice." Nefario answered.

"With an extra dimensional rift into Hell and the resulting cesspool of evil sitting right underneath." Xander replied. "Quaint."

"Things are rarely as they seem." Nefario shrugged.

"Hey, guys back on topic, what's this about magic still." Edith brought them back from the tangent.

"You know, this is better for a group conversation actually. We should cover this all with everyone together. I'm willing to give the whole spiel all at once if I can." Xander said, thinking an impromptu discussion that shattered world views would be bad.

"Yes, that would be best. We'll do this over Dinner I think. And you are still paying for pizza." Gru conceded.

"But, I wanna know!" Edith said loudly.

"Trust me, life is better not knowing." The look in Xander's eyes as he told her that quieted her protests. "And Mr. Gru, am I accepted?"

Gru who was currently rubbing his temples, looked up and answered, "I suppose. Not as if you can do much more damage after all." With that, Gru left the room and shortly after, Edith followed to go to her room and think about what Xander could have meant.

Finding themselves alone, Nefario looked at Xander and said, "That went better than I thought it would! Now how about we work on fixing your Doom ray design." Xander who was a true Nefario by blood did what and Mad Scientist does when faced with adversity: Tinker and Invent!

**AN: So 1.8 K is pretty good, I thought about continuing but felt that this was a really good place to stop and made a decent breaking point. I actually didn't think of the whole girls not knowing about the supernatural until I wrote it. A few notes for the story on why they didn't tell the girls, basically Gru would like to pretend it didn't exist and it's enough of a fringe for that to succeed. So he just doesn't mention it and it never comes up. Also I want to know how my Despicable Me characterizations are so be sure to comment on that in the reviews please. Thanks for reading and please do me a favor and review.**


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